We all dream. But we don’t realize that having dreams, goals, objectives and aspirations is simply setting our expectations from life, from another person, work, our partner, our kids, or our parents. Everyone and anyone we come in contact with can have an impact on our dreams.
Everyone starts a negotiation with an aspiration or expectation of the outcome. Often the outcome expected is unreasonable.
Because a negotiated settlement requires both parties to agree and then live up to the terms, the solution must become a shared goal or objective. I call this a Collective Dream.
To resolve a conflict with another person you have several options. You can try to force your dream on an unwilling participant, submit to the other person’s dream to keep the peace, or find a way to forge a Collective Dream; one you both want to make reality.
This does not mean foregoing your goals or objectives; only finding ways to merge them with someone else’s in a fashion that you both are motivated to help each other. Sound like a healthy way for a married couple to handle conflict? I think so!
In Seven Secrets to WINNING Without Losing a Friend, I discuss Collective Dreaming and team building. I share how developing a mutuality of interests is key to reaching a lasting and healthy resolution to the many conflicts we have to handle every day of our lives.