Publicly praising the attributes of a tribal chief may encourage him to pardon your from being the evening’s entree! 

Proponent strategies are designed to align the parties on a common course. A mediator knows that by working together towards a common, mutual goal, both parties have increased incentive to achieve an agreement. 

If you, as a negotiator, can find a way to be a proponent of your opponent’s cause without diluting your agenda you may be able to forge a Common Dream. Collaboration can be far more productive that competition. To collaborate sharing a common objective is essential even though the rewards and contributions may be different.

Win/Win negotiating is about pairing needs and satisfiers so that both parties come away with more than they feel they gave away in the process. It makes sense to seek to solve a dispute by pairing disproportionately valued commodities so that both parties emerge feeling a sense of victory.

Ways to be a proponent of the other person without hurting your cause: 

-Show how you advocate the same ‘global’ goals and objectives as the other person. 

-Support what they are striving to achieve then illustrate how helping you will help them succeed. 

-Promote their endeavor as being mutually compatible with your cause. 

-Offer to become an advocate of their project to third parties. 

-Demonstrate that you believe in what they are doing and only want to make it better. 

By becoming a proponent agent, you are managing the negotiating process and leading the collective group towards a mutually beneficial accord, a Common Dream. 

In Seven Secrets to WINNING Without Losing a Friend, I discuss the importance of trying to forge a Common dream so you can collaborate rather than compete with the other person to fulfill a larger, mutually attractive global goal.

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