VICTORY – VICTORIES

Few other animals regale in a victory as does the male gorilla. Pounding its barrel chest and roaring for all to hear, he is making sure that other males don’t challenge him in the near future. His dominance is based on fear and survives only as long as he remains at the top of his game. 

Winning is enjoyable. But it can be costly. How you act when you win is important in future interactions with those involved, and with others who may hear how you acted. In a personal relationship, abusive winning behavior can foster resentment and hostility. Try not to deride the loser. Prevent major schisms from emerging that eventually challenge a relationship by being gracious in your success. 

Business interactions and negotiations should also generate relationships that survive the actual negotiation. As in a personal relationship, you should seek to preserve the relationship after winning to enable you to work with this person in the future no matter what his corporate affiliation. In time, the person may join your company, become your partner, or buy your company and have the power to fire you!

Bridges are to be built, not burnt. 

Few of us enjoy absolute power. In victory we should privately savor the moment without needlessly hurting or humiliating the other person lest we win a few battles at the cost of the relationship. It is probable that you will interact with the person again and will want to be able to have a civil, open conversation. If the way you acted when winning the last time is less than constructive, you can expect to have a hard time reestablishing a rapport. 

In Seven Secrets to WINNING Without Losing a Friend, I discuss the importance of winning gracefully.

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