Making Friends, Not Enemies

Making Friends, Not Enemies

circle-of-hands-needs-and-wantsUnfortunately negotiating seems to have a bad connotation these days. It is often viewed as a suppressive and manipulative power game used to take advantage of others.

The reality is that it is not the process of negotiating that puts people off, it is the negotiating style that some people use to get their way.

Conflict occurs naturally. We all of negotiate, each and every one of us. We do so each time we interact with another person. Every human interaction is a mini-negotiation. Knowing how to handle personal negotiations is essential to healthy personal and professional relationships.

Learning to merge the wants and needs of others with yours in a fashion that is not destructive to relationships is how we get along with others, how we build friendships.

Handling conflict well does not need to be hard. Too often we try to avoid confrontation. Most people consider conflict distasteful. The truth is, since we can’t avoid it, conflict shouldn’t be feared or avoided. It should be embraced. Prevailing in your quest, winning, need not cost you a friendship.

From birth we have been taught that to win is good, not so much losing! No one likes to lose. If you can make the other person feel like a winner in some fashion, the fact that he or she lost the bigger negotiation may be more palatable. This is important to build and keep a strong cadre of friends and family members you care about you. Life is about those relationships, not the stuff we accumulate.

In Seven Secrets to WINNING Without Losing a Friend, I discuss ways to negotiate while building good relationships as part of living life fully.

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